So, I know that events like the Oscars are self-congratulatory, back-patting displays of narcissism, but I love them. I like to watch the acceptance speeches when I'm in a bad mood, because everyone is just so damn happy to win! I've still never stayed up for the event, and most of the films are only just coming out now in the UK but I'm still excited. Below are my 10 favourite awards ceremony speeches!
1. David Harbour - SAG Awards
Outstanding performance in an ensemble - Stranger Things, 2017
Political speeches can be dull and jarring but David Harbour, shaking like a leaf, delivers his with passion and soul. I am ready to fight Nazis every time I watch this.
"We will repel bullies, we will shelter freaks and outcasts, those who have no hope. We will get past the lies, we will hunt monsters."
2. Joe Pesci - Oscars
Best Supporting Actor - Goodfellas, 1991
This isn't even the shortest Oscar speech in history but it's only five words, and thank goodness; I'd hate Mr Pesci to shatter his reputation as the most terrifying man in Hollywood. His speech at Robert de Niro's AFI lifetime achievement award ceremony is well worth a watch too.
3. Frances McDormand - Oscars
Best Actress - Fargo, 1997
This is a masterclass, a perfect speech. She acknowledges her fellow nominees, hints at problems in the industry and thanks her family without being mushy. LOVE.
"Thank you for allowing directors to make a tonne of miscasting decisions based on qualifications and not just market value."
4. Jerry Seinfeld - HBO's "The Comedian Award", 2007
Jerry Seinfeld was honoured by HBO and used his awards speech to talk about how stupid awards are, and that they contradict the whole ethos of being a comedian. This is gold.
"I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I don't want you to think that I'm not honoured because I am. I feel very, very honoured...but, it's just...awards are stupid."
5. Olivia Colman - TV Baftas
Best Supporting Actress - Accused & Best Female Comedy Performance - Twenty Twelve, 2013
I've been an Olivia Colman fan for over a decade, since I saw Green Wing as a teenager, and I'm so happy that she's gotten recognition over the last few years. She won two awards in the same year at the TV Baftas and it turns out she's the sweetest person in the world. She also won Best Actress the following year, which was just as adorable.
"If my kids are watching, it looked like I said a bad word. I didn't. I said "fudge"."
6. Jim Carrey - Golden Globes
Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy - Man on the Moon, 2000
All of Jim Carrey's speeches are lovely, because everyone is always so happy when he wins!
"Two years in a row...I am the establishments I once rejected..."
7. Cate Blanchett - Oscars
Best Actress - Blue Jasmine, 2014
I always feel torn when awards are given for problematic films; Blue Jasmine, as a Woody Allan film, is automatically problematic. It still amazes me that well respected actors are willing to work with him. However, Cate Blanchett's speech is wonderful. I'm a big fan of hers and was glad she won another Oscar, as her first one, for playing Katherine Hepburn in The Aviator, is rather controversial.
"To those of us in the industry, still foolishly clinging to the idea that female films with women at the centre are niche experiences. They are not. Audiences want to see them and, in fact, they earn money."
8. Hugh Laurie - Golden Globes
Best Actor, TV Series Drama, 2006
I'm biased here, since House is my favourite show of all time. Lots of Americans didn't realise he was English, or that he's a comedian. This is a wonderfully funny speech and shows exactly why I love him.
9. Halle Berry - Oscars
Best Actress - Monsters Ball, 2002
Overly emotional speeches are the worst (Gwyneth Paltrow, I'm looking at you) but Halle Berry can be totally forgiven in this case. She was the first black woman, and remains the only black woman to win the Best Actress Oscar.
"It's for every nameless, faceless woman of colour that now has the chance because this door tonight has been opened."
10. Daniel Day Lewis and Jack Nicholson - Critics' Choice Awards
Best Actor - Gangs of New York and About Schmidt
It was a tie and Jack Nicholson felt bad about his pal Robin Williams being left out, so got him up on stage too. Oh, and Jack Nicholson is high as a kite.
"I don't usually get this baked when it's on television."