As you may or may not have heard, YouTube is having a few problems right now with subscribers disappearing and videos not uploading in full. I have been a victim of the latter and so a rant that was much anticipated by my 108 subscribers has become a blog post. Below are my top seven irrational irritations. Tell me some of yours!
1. Empty cups on TV/in film
I SEE YOU, GILMORE GIRLS.
Gilmore Girls is not the worst offender. That would be Kirsten Dunst in the 2004 film Wimbledon. You're welcome.
2. People who don't return their shopping trolleys
Congratulations, you're probably the kind of person who thinks it's retail workers' job to clean up after you. And by leaving trolleys all over the place, you're probably helping to block the path of disabled people. Also, how lazy are you?
3. Scottish people who sing, "Da na na na!" after the first chorus of "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers
Scottish people have heard "500 miles" by The Proclaimers approximately one trillion times. But we're almost always drunk when we hear it. So every time it comes on, the drunk people forget that you don't do the "da na na na" bit until after the SECOND chorus.
I never forget, no matter how drunk I am. So I end up screaming at people that they're doing it wrong instead and everyone hates me.
4. People who press the button of a lift/pedestrian crossing when it's already been pressed and they think it's taking too long
You think by pressing the button that's clearly already been pushed, the traffic lights will ignore that they're on a programmed timer and suddenly change to red so you can cross? Or the lift will suddenly plummet from whatever floor it's on down to you? I think it's The Tower of Terror you're looking for, pal.
5. "I preferred their old stuff"
As a blink-182 fan, I get a lot of people say to me, "Oh, but don't you prefer their old stuff? They're newer albums don't even count!" They definitely count. They were made by blink-182. The old stuff has already been made. That's why it's called OLD STUFF. If you want to hear old albums again, just listen to them again. Or make your own fucking album.
6. Pointless facebook statuses
Maybe if you're a grown adult having to write passive aggressive statuses about how people should "say it to my face if they have a problem", you should rethink your social circle. Having a paragraph about motor neuron disease as your status with no facts or links to charity sites helps nobody, especially if you put, "I know TRUE FRIENDS will share this" at the bottom. I still don't know what "live, laugh, love" really means (SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS) and are you sure Marilyn Monroe said that?
7. Harry Potter fans who pronounce J K Rowling's name wrong.
It's like rolling pin.